I Am Sorry

I am a liberal person. I just don't know nak luahkan kat mana. Maybe nak luahkan di sini saja lah. But then again.. apa yang nak saya tulis di sini.. adalah agak sensitive and memerlukan orang yang berfikiran luas untuk membacanya..

Amaran: Berhenti di sini jika anda seorang yang sensitive..

I got a distance cousin. Perempuan. Age 32 or maybe 34. A manager in one of the international hotel here n KK. Basically dia nie memang berpelajaran lah. We nick name her BONI. Parents BONI is one of those Fanatik Christian. And terus terang juga saya cakap.. ke-fanatik-an parents dia nie buat saya selalu gaduh / debates dengan mereka. Orang yang Fanatik nie selalu anggap diri dorang saja yang betul and itu buat saya agak tercabar. As if mereka ini standing in the right wing of GOD and as if they are guaranteed a place in heaven. Fuhh.. enough with that.

Few months back.. BONI told me that she had a BOYFRIEND. And the BOYFRIEND (with all due respects) is just a Construction Worker. And She also told me that HER gaji is.. like.. 10 times of HIS salary. In other words.. She's the one who is doing the belanja-ing & the beli-belah-ing for that guy. As for me.. saya cuma mendengar. I never met the guy.. so does the rest of the CLANS.

Week ago.. BONI told me yang she asks the GUY to tunang her. Yeah.. you read that right. She asks HIM to TUNANG her. But for me itu perkara yang biasa saja. Apa salah jika GIRL pula yang PROPOSED kan?

Then the SHE drop the BOMBSHELL.. the GUY is a MUSLIM! MUSLIM??? aduiii...

How is your parents nanti? Tu lah soalan pertama saya pada BONI. BONI terus diam and slowly dia mula menitiskan air mata. Saya pula yang diam. Saya boleh bayangkan PARENTS dia tengah berduka and malu pada masyarakat sekampung. Semua orang tahu yang PARENT dia adalah orang yang selalu berkhutbah pasal KRISTIAN.. and di sini pula anak mereka sendiri pula yang CONVERTS.. Imagine je lah cam ANAK USTAZ memeluk CHRISTIANITY. Apa akan jadi pada USTAZ tersebut.

Do you loves HIM? tanya saya lagi pada BONI..

NO. Tulah jawapan BONI yang buat saya agak terkejut!

Do you CONVERT becuase you believe in ISLAM? Do you know what is ISLAM? Do you know what is BEING A MUSLIM?

No.. No.. No.. tu lah jawapan BONI.

So why nak convert?!!!

The reason for her doing so are.. she is already 30 somethings.. and the GUY loves her. Futher more she consider herself as ugly and fat. Nobody are interested in her. Her biological clock are ticking fast. Her previous relationship sink as fast as the titanic. She is tired of being alone all the the time - A feeling that i understand very well.

She's already convert last week without any of the CLANS. Her menghantar TUNANG will be on this JULY. Venue? I just donno! How will the ceremony be? I dunno!

Deep down i understand her and deep down i felt sorry for her as well. My only wish is that for the PARENTS to take it as it is. Being on who we are as a Christian Clan.. i am sure BONI will be OUTCAST from the CLAN.. like the rest of the converter from this CLAN. Total outcast.

I hope her relationship with this GUY will work. Or else.. BONI will become one of those CONTOH CONTOH BURUK. Contoh buruk yang happened to other converters.. in most of them end up being kena cerai and abandon by their BOYFRIEND or HUSBAND. I hope that this GUY realise BONI's big sacrifices and value her.

Recently.. BONI asks me if she can bunk at my apartment. The PARENTS already halau HER from the house. Gosh.. berpusing terus otak saya. If i were to sanction her.. meaning i am condoning her convertion and the other CLAN will be over me like a hungry lion over a lamb. If i were not to help her pula.. i felt bad pula. She got no one else. Punya lama saya mau fikir.

But FIKIR.. i did..

I am sorry BONI.. i can't help you this time. I have hurts my family long enough and to add "this" to the long list.. is like spreading SALT to an opened wound. Considering my sitution right now.. i guessed it is best for BONI to seek help from the other rather than from me. I am sorry BONI.

Sebelum kawan kawan yang membaca blog nie menuduh saya nie KEJAM.. (smile).. atau kurang faham dengan my standing.. i just want you to imagine.. i want you to visual if BONI is your COUSIN.. trying to convert to CHRISTIANITY..

Maaf jika ada kawan kawan lain tersinggung bila membaca blog ini.